I was so done with Snapchat after 2017, I have no idea what led me to open an account again. I used snap for less than 6 months and we connected in that short space of time. I loved your funny snaps and our genuine conversations. At that point, I thought we only texted each other because we were bored, but you proved me wrong.

You made me wait for the first date. I remember asking so early. We settled on a date, I was excited and even woke up at 7 am to hit the gym (first time). It was such a surprise when I got sick. I understand why you thought I didn’t want to go or had someone else, I would have thought the same thing.

Finally we met on 14 july. Your outfit was magical. You talked so passionately about mediocre things and drama. We talked about things I had no interest in, yet I loved hearing you talk.

During this time, I was regularly studying until 6 am and waking up after 2 pm. The night before we were supposed to meet, I couldn’t sleep even at 8 am. You read my journal, you know all the reasons and excuses, but I think at the end of the day, it came down to self-sabotage. I apologize once again to you and your friend Hridita.

A part of me was thinking that we were in ashes. There’s no chance this would ever work. My friend also told me the same thing.

The usual me would’ve said sorry and just moved on. But I felt something special with you. I really wanted you to see me in the same way you had before. I didn’t want you to give up on us.

At this point, I wasn’t really looking for or expecting love. You came at such an unexpected time. When you sent that HSC text, I knew you were the one for me.

From my journal: “Sunehra reassured me so well. She sent me a text about hsc. No one had ever done this with me. I won’t let her go or mistreat her. She’s the one for me if the one exists. Hopefully our good times will start after hsc.”

But at this stage, I was still worried, I had hurt you before, what if you were just playing with me and I was hoping for something that would never come?

After HSC, our good times really did begin. And now we’re more than I ever hoped for. I hope I’ll forever add to this webpage.

My walls were high, I didn’t want to trust anything or anyone. You know how I am. But with time and effort, you really made me love you. And now I ask myself, how did I not know from the beginning.